Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Unicorn Sightings Rampant In NY!!!
Yes, that was in the news. However, if it was in New York its probably just some person living out some kind weird horse fetish. Because thats what goes down in NY, after sunset.... trust me, I have pictures. Anyways, its been a week since my last post so I decided to take this time to share more issues with you, or disturb you. I haven't really decided yet. The song is by Blink 182... Dammitt
The Adventures of Beyonce Knowles Weave!!!
Things that are disgusting, dating Jay Z, check. Having your daddy kick out the 4th member of Destiny's Child because you want more money. Saying the reason you didn't get nominated for an academy award in "Dream Girls" is because you didn't want to gain 20 lbs..... yeah okay. Playing a sassy soul singer in an Austin Powers flick, and never readjusting your voice to take the 70s sound back out. Oh and more disgusting wearing a weave that makes you look stitched up like Frankenstein. I guess she could have got a better weave if she gained 20 lbs.
Fergacrappascious...The Worst of 2006
I really don't know who told Fergie she could sing. I also don't know who told her she was hot, she kinda looks like an alien. But of course if your a 12 yr. old girl in braces, you probably think shes the greatest singer of all-time, and she will be touring for 20 years. You probably also think your closet is haunted, and leaving the light on will keep the ghosts out(or Dustin Diamond who played Screech on Saved by the Bell). First off, whats wrong with Fergie? Every single one of her songs she sings about how hot or fine she is. She really isn't she looks like an alien since she got all the plastic surgery before she joined the Black Eyed Peas. Remember her old group Wild Orchid? Look it up. The song Fergilicious is also a ripoff of the JJ FAD song "Supersonic", from 1989. Blah the arrangements, why does she have to make these laaa,,,, lallallaa ... la la la, with her mouth in every song? Its really dated, as she would say, "check it out". And that guy Will I. Am, I liked him better when his name was Wyclef Jean. Either way, these dudes will ruin alot of videos.
Boy Meets Wo.....nder Years...
Yes the Savage Brothers, Ben and Fred. Fred was the emmy award winning Kevin Arnold from "The Wonder Years". He stayed in the lime light for 5 seasons and 2 bad movies, appearing in the late 90s in the show "Work" and thats about all for him. Ben is his less talented brother whose hair resembles pubic hair starred in "Boy Meets World", a quirky little comedy that really ruined itself by following the characters grow up go to school, and get married formula.
Its light hearted approach was later ruined in its final 2 seasons covering more serious topics. But throughout the ages, it has often been debated as to who was the luckier brother. While Fred was more critical acclaimed playing a stuck up prick on The Wonder Years didn't exactly broaden his character. However, he did get to date Winnie Cooper(Danica Mckellar)who was the worst Tv girlfriend of all time. Her character came off as kinda cold and thoughtless, ditching her friends for popularity, cheating on Kevin in the final episode. Ben got to date a chick with the dumbest name of all time Topanga. Though some what attractive, she came off as goofy and kind of weird. Its rumored today shes working at a Bloomingsdale, while Winnie is actually a math professor, and has a math thereom named after her.
Danielle(Topanga) actually dated Lance Bass and had no idea he was gay, talk about good actors. Kinda close to call on this one... not really
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Your Brother Likes Hotdogs?
Okay, yes its been about 4 months since my last post here, but yet I've had about 600 hits here the last 4 months so I guess, its time for an update. Lots of changes going on, this year... the year of the stingray,and fall of the K-Fed. Yo estoy los dios de sol. I hope you enjoy this hastly thrown together offering, and will probably be back sooner then 4 months. The theme, vanity.....
people who have never read this blog: paris hilton's nude roller blading donkey.
Koffi Annan, Star Jones, Lionel Richie, Andy Warhol. Anyone from My Chemical Romance who have a love for jelly donuts.
The song "Sour Times" by Portishead
The horror that is Lindsay Lohans Head
I will never understand what people find so attractive about this chick. Her head is shaped like an apple, I mean look at it, it makes you want to just go and bake some pies. Its just to round with high cheeks bones, yet you people all went out to see "Herbie" which by far is the Shakespearen piece of her work. And not to mention this is how she smiles in every single picture. But she can do whatever she wants with all those Herbie DVDs you have hidden in your dressers. I just hope she never gets a job at Glamour Shots in the mall. And now she's hanging out with Paris Hilton, who looks kinda like a Collie. They should be called Delmonte and Lassie. Okay that was best impersonation of any, comedian on Late Night At The Apollo.
The Delusional Years: The Girlfriends Fat Friend
Before it could get ugly I must state fat is an adjective, not a slur. Its a description of being how should you say more then overweight. And the description is only used in the context to help develop a psychological aura for the description of the character.
Once upon a time in the land of 10 yrs. ago, I was a college student working in a convience store. One of my co-workers was a rather obese chick, about 5-5, 280 lbs. But this didn't make her ugly, her disposition did. I ended up being the token guy at work she liked, which developed into her having a crush on me, being the only positive male in her life. However, she recruited one of her friends to try to get me to open up to find out if I had feelings for her, the large chick Mary. Her friend was very cute and in a couple of weeks, she developed a crush on me, and we started dating. The round chick Mary was okay with this. However, this is when
MARY GOT DELUSIONAL!!!!!!!
Slowly but surely to cover up her failed oppertunity at love with me Mary started telling stories. These were no ordinary stories, but stories of her past relationships. You see due to Mary's size and disposition, which was very cold and cruel she never had a boyfriend so she created boyfriends. Her friend told me in highschool Mary use to claim her boyfriend was over, so the friend would try to sneak over, and low and behold no one was ever there. Mary didn't even have any pictures of her boyfriend. When she felt uncomfortable about me and her best friends love life she told fascinating tales of her imaginary love life. Mary told us her first time, was with her boyfriend in the woods on the back of a 4 wheeler. We really tried not to laugh. There is no way physics and gravity could make that possibly for anyone let alone, someone her size. But this was her claim to fame. For fantasy it was really pumping on a dry well. That setting is the kind that would get Danielle Steel or any romance novel writer fired. But this is all she could come up with in her mind. So she gets the delusional award of 25lbs of sausage, and a gallon of macaroni. I never really saw Mary again, after 1997, she seemed to spend time trying to break me and her friend up(out of jealously and under the belief I started a rumor about her criminal record at our job after I quit), and ultimately would help her friend cheat on me, and 2 other boyfriends down the road. Which goes to oppose the t-shirt about fat people being able to lose weight, but ugly people will always be ugly. She was messed up either way.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Mother, Should I build a Wall...
Okay, yes its been 2mos. and 2 days, but los dio de sol has returned. Apparentily this blog is still alive as I keep getting messages. So here's what will be the first of a regular weekly update or 2. Its funny I know they say 90 percent of all blogs die after 2 weeks... but I lasted a month... then came college, and yes its online but Im obessed with knitting scary sock monkeys. This blogs theme, ended up being innocense. It's funny I never post these theme wise, but I always find one when I look into it. It's better then saying... hmmmm.... the theme is an anal virus... seeeee why would you read that. Thats why they have myspace.
listening to...pink floyd- mother.
The Forgotten: Charlotte Braun
Yes, Charles Schultz penned Snoopy, Charlie Brown and The Peanuts for 50 years, and actually died the day after the last cartoon was printed. Creepy thought there yet, kinda sweet. He often snook in many concept characters for its time. A Billie Jean King clone, the first black cartoon character, and a Kite Eating Tree. However hidden in the annals of strip history is Charlotte Braun. Charlotte only appeared in 10 strips, because of a negative public response. She was similiar in appearance to Charlie Brown, but really rude and annoying. So she was shelved in 1955 never to be seen again. Some say she had a meth problem,some speak of rumors of her Linus and the blanket, some say she became obessessed with creating a rocking chair that makes pies, still others say when she grew up she did a spread in "Swank" magazine. I say she was make believe and its all just rumors. Ahhhhh innocense.
Lance Bass is what!!!!!!! No Noooooo!!!!!
Came a time when a man could wear make up, and dance around in leather pants and not be gay. Came a time when a grown man could have a fan base of children and not be gay. But noooooo, not you Lance Bass. Yes, Lance Bass admitted to being gay, saying he kept it secret all these years because he didn't want the band to become about him being Gay. Good for you Lance. No one is thrilled with how Ellen overshadowed her show with her issues. However, you did throw the world of make up clad leather pant wearing pretty boys back 100 yrs. What gave it away to me, was when he wanted to be a cosmonaut. Everyone knows they are all gay.
Stupid, Childhood Memories: Kool-Aid Man
OH YEAH..... The catch phrase that set off a revolution. Though to this day its still debatable whether he could take the Hawaian Punch mascot "Punchy" In a fight,(what the hell was that on punchy's head) Kool-Aid man still prevails in mainstream culture. I remember as a kid saving all the Kool-Aid points on the back of the package so I could send off for the Kool-Aid watch with the digital moving hands. Legend has it, Kurt Cobain use to dye his hair with Kool-Aid, and he did so on the SNL performance. The pop singer Pink admits to having used Kool-Aid as a hair dye. Personally I would want to dye mine with grape. I never did wear that watch to school, that would have just been dorky.
Check this clip out.... ohh good times...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Go Your Own Way....
Yes, I've been away, been busy. So here it is the special 2 week edition. To my latino fans Yo estoy el dios de sol!!!! Hope you enjoy this offering... The theme something sweet and something bitter... or Bite ear. Hahhahahahahaahahaha enjoy.
Chocolate Makes You Smarter, I thought it was those funny cigerettes?
Yep, they've done studies and chocolate does boost brain power.
"Chocolate contains many substances that act as stimulants, such as theobromine, phenethylamine, and caffeine," Dr. Bryan Raudenbush from Wheeling Jesuit University in West Virginia noted in comments to Reuters Health.
Which doesn't explain why the Willy Wonka character in the movies seemed like a sexual deviant. Or does it? This contradicts the theory by University Of Phoenix scientist that Chocolate makes your testicles fall off. I might be wrong on that source.
Mike Tyson is your Shakespeare....
Oh yes, glorious Mike Tyson, You and your words of wisdom. Though I could never beat you in your video game, Im sure you tremble that we never met. Because if we did I would have made you a cheese sandwich, you would have said it was "Estatic", in honor of your literary achievements,(not including the time you read The Cat In The Hat") here is a tribute to your classic quotes:
“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."
I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”
[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."
I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I like the British bikes. I like British people. They're real mellow."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
Oh mike you cad, you make wrestling promos seem intelligent.
The Fox And The Hound 2, "A Stupid New Beginning"
Once upon a time Disney did a cartoon based on a classic novel dealing with racism and segration, no its not "Rockadoodle" either. The flick "The Fox And The Hound" featured these moral overtones. However, now the Disney money machine is cashing in on it with a tastless sequel. In this adventure Copper and Todd's friendship is once again divided by.... get this..."Country Music", thats right Copper the hound joins a "Dog Country Music Band". Yeeahhhhaaaaa cha-ching!!!!!! This is a travesty, this would be like if they made a sequel to "The Passion", and had the dilemma being Its double coupon day at the Piggly Wiggly and Judas stole Jesus spam coupon. Thanks, Disney..... Watch for yourselves!!!!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Sick Of Myself
Blah, Well, welcome heres my blog I post about 2 times a week. Nothing extremely unusual or fascinating about it. But I AM the SUN GOD, to my friends in the latin world and here is an offering from me... even though I have no Idea what your saying.
Weird Random Video:Grim Reaper
I thought this was funny. Its from some practical joke show. The Grim Reaper always gets big laughs. Check It Out.
Your punishment is to share a prison cell with the hamburgler.
What is the deal with the Hamburgler? Why did Mc Donalds need this menance? Is stealing hamburgers such a big deal? I mean weirder things have happened liked hot 23 yr. old teachers dating their 13yr. old students. But what did the hamburgler go to jail for? I mean if im thinking advertising for a fast food restaurant, Im not thinking "yeah, we could have this guy dressed in prison garb who steals hamburgers. Yeah, thats a problem allright, its called schziophrenia. Or sometimes Its just called internet date night.
L'eggo my... never mind just take it.
God, Eggo Waffles. I will never understand the fascination with these things. Eggo waffles were invented in 1936, yes they will out live the roaches. Today they own a 65 percent share of the frozen waffle market. I think these things are just nasty, they taste like styrofoam. But thats not really fair to styrofoam, or Micheal Jackson. Anyways here are a few seldom known facts about Eggo:
1. Eggo waffles are made out of dead parrots.
2. If you stick an eggo inside your dvd player you will be able to watch the
first 3 season of Mr. Belvedere except the one were Wesley gets molested.
3. If you let an Eggo go if it comes back its your to keep, if not it was never
meant to be.
4. Once the Black Eyed Peas were suppose to have an Eggo Waffle as its opening act
but reconsidered because they didn't want to be upstaged.
5. Terri Hatcher once dated an Eggo waffle, then when it broke up with her she went
on Oprah and talked about her heartache.
yeah, these are stupid but I don't care.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Daddy Never Sleeps At Nite...
Hello everyone... er Buenos Dias to my Mayan friends who think of me as the sun god.
This is my blog, about a bunch of useless tasteless news that doesn't concern anyones world except the people whose world this is. Unless your the mole people. I try to update 2-3 times a week but didn't happen this past week. You see I started going to school online to finish up my education. That and you guys don't pay me to do this. But feel free to make donations to .... hahahahah right.
The theme,,, is poison, the band, your mind, and stuff to kill ants. Hope you enjoy this offering.
Every Rose has its GUN!!!!!!
Taken from Blabbermouth and Inside Edition:
POISON singer Bret Michaels told "Inside Edition" he's talking publicly about the two shooting incidents he's experienced recently because he's asking for help in stopping whoever has been shooting at him. "It's a pretty scary feeling to be randomly shot at no matter what it is," Michaels explained. "I'm not a real fearful person. I'm actually a pretty independent person and I'm not a big posse guy. I like to go live my life and do my thing but I'm taking this very seriously, I mean, everyone's taking it seriously. What you pray is that it's a random act of violence; you hope that it's just a couple of kids with a bb gun or a pellet gun."
Back in November in Massachusetts, someone fired a weapon at Michaels that shattered a window on his tour bus, and a similar thing happened two weeks ago, when a window in his car was shot out while he was driving in Los Angeles.
So basically someone is trying to kill or harm Brett Micheals, who sang "Every Rose has its Thorn" "Nothing But A Good Time" and "Unskinny Bop".
I'm betting it was someones boyfriend who Micheals was "Having Nothing But A Good Time" with the guys girlfriend. But maybe the answer is in the lyrics of his songs. In the song "Love On The Rocks" it quotes "love on the rocks, she's my shot.." their you go its a weird zodiac 80s singer killer. Next this guy will probably go for Quiet Riot because he could "C'mon Feel The Noize" in his head. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ,,,, IM SO CLEVER.
Fear Factor.. another reason to hate Americans
Yes, I'm American and the sadness of reality tv shows really amaze me. And this turd of a show has been on for a few years now. Fear Factor is a show that puts people in phsyical, mind blowing, and sometimes life threatening challenges. Swimming with alligators, jumping through fire with cars, having a blonde chick in a southern town date a foriegn guy.... just crazy dangerous stuff. But then there is the stupid stuff. Like host Joe Rogan, Joe was originally on the classic show "News Radio" and did a horrible stint on "The Man Show", however Joe doesn't come across as a pathetic fantasy dwelling loser so the "The Man Show" was cancelled. Joe puts them through the weird challenges to decide if "fear is a factor", gag..... The weird stuff like eating a sausage made out of worms. To me this has nothing to do with fear. Its funny at night I never look in my closet to see if a sausage made out of worms is in there, trying to get me. Or the season finale a few years back was to drink a rat smoothie. Once again, when the phone rings late at night and someone breathes in it and just hangs up, I don't say, "Oh my god... I hope its not a rat smoothie stalking me." yeah. This has nothing to do with fear just stupidity.
Weird Random Video Clip: Giant Pet Ants....
As a child I often fantasized about what it would be like to have a giant pet ant. How it would be to lay in a field of dandelions while my giant pet ant would gentily rest his head on my lap while I read the poems of Emily Dickinson. Then me and my giant pet ant would build a fort in my backyard out of old boxes and blankets. Except Anty...(thats what I would call him or maybe even Sean) would then burrow a tunnel 20 ft. underground where he would then take a queen to protect and mate with. And that queen would probably be Jessica Simpson because she seems to get around alot lately. OH ANTY...errr Sean your too much. Watch this clip.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Don't Tell My Blog, My Achy, Breaky...
Hello again, welcome to my blog, my little piece of stupidity that I update 2-3 times a week. A place where people who don't don't speak english leave comments in my forums declaring me a god i'm sure. This weeks theme is matters of the heart,,,,,, or it could be beastiality, however you look at it. I hope you enjoy.
Nothing Better is going on in Itay.....
Yep in Italy, the government issues everyone a sports car, designer clothing, and a model boyfriend or girlfriend. But not all is so sunny in Italy, lobsters are being abused ridiculed by being put alive on displays of ice. When asked for comment the lobsters replied"grrrrrcrrrkkkllplllgrrrr". Yes this is the news that is making headlines out of Italy this week. A country whose fore fathers, Chef Boyardee and Super Mario, must be turning in their graves right now. The story is looking to make its way to the Lifetime channel starring Growing Pains star, JoAnna Kearns as the activist, and Lindsay Lohan as the lobster, as soon as she can hone her acting skills better and limit the word "dude" from her vocabulary.
He-man and the Masters of the .....Loin Clothes?
Yes, if you were a a young man in the early 80s then 2 truths held constant, you liked to ride your big wheel and do fish hooks off the end off your driveway out into oncoming traffic, and second, you worshiped He-Man. The He-Man drama started with Mattel Toys plans to create a Conan toyline, because the Conan Clothingline wasn't working out too well, loin clothes and furry boots were about 2 yrs from making it big onto the L.A. glam metal scene. So, nonetheless He-Man was born. He-Man was a cartoon about a bunch of buffed guys who all had the words man in their name.(Just like in "Sex and the City") The hero He-Man was actually Prince Adam who had a magic sword that let him turned into his secret identity He-Man. Even though he and Adam looked exactly alike even though He-Man was just shirtless no one knew of his identity. I tried the same scam when I tried to illegally buy beer my freshman year in college and I was already ID 1 min. earlier as 18, so the no shirt hides my identity did nothing for me. Neither did my Wilson Phillips tattoo. Anyways, He-Man and friends fought against the evil forces of Skeeletor, who I think later toured with Danzig. There was also Teela, He-Mans female, warrior friend. The only purpose of a young man getting a Teela doll was to try to impress the young ladies with his diversity, or to stick it with the dorky neighbor kid down the street when he came over to play with your He-Man. Then later after you guys bonded you would get Teela and He-Man to get it on. Every episode of He-Man ended with a heart warming moral such as "Love is the most powerful force in the universe." and the lesser known, "Love comes and goes while Herpes last forver." Awww yes He-Man, was later portrayed by Dolphin Lundgren,,aka the Russian from Rocky. And years after that was revived on 2 different occassion but never took off. Any guy 28-32 had a special place in his Heart for He-Man 25 yrs ago. No matter how much he lies about it. Well except maybe Puertoricans,....just kidding.
Bizzare Random Video Clip.
Okay, this is interesting its a heart warming newsclip story of the friendship between a 45 yr. old orangatan and 1 yr. old tabby cat. The cat legitamately walks the apes cage at its own free will. Then someone decides to edit this story. You have to love photoshop anyways check this out.Blogarama