Use Your Delusion

Man, who didn't have Sea Monkeys growing up? Better question... who didn't kill their Sea Monkeys? I remember buying my Sea Monkey in 1986 from the local K-mart. After a weeks the freeze dried eggs came alive, and slowly over the next 2 weeks they sprout into maturity, missing out on asking to borrow my car, and growing bad teenage Sea Monkey facial stubble. You ask where Sea Monkeys come from? Some say they came from a rift in the ocean opened by our true lord Poisedon, others say they were brought to us by the reverse vampires and the Rann Corportation. Those people would be wrong. Believe it or not Sea Monkeys were created by a German In the mid 1950s. Yes, the same nationality that was intent on European domination spawned this cutesy phenomenon. If your going for forgiveness guys, good luck with that. This is how they got there revenge on us, by giving the children of the people who crushed their empire, pets that were guaranteed to cause heartbreak. You see, Sea Monkeys LIKE TO GET IN ON...AND ON.... AND ON. They can't seem to keep it in their pants. Within 3mos. my Sea Monkeys(aka brine shrimp) where literally 100s in a small 7 inch by 1 inch tank. And man could those dudes crap. They were good at crapping and SEA MONKEYS WERE BI-SEXUAL....They could reproduce sexually and asexaully.(Which made masterbation incredibly confusing) And yes they always wore tank tops and had profiles on myspace.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, GOD IM CLEVER. Long story short, my tank got dirty, tried to clean it and repurify it, which ended up killing my Sea Monkeys. I was there god and I failed them. BUT THEN I GOT TRANSFORMERS!!!! AND I FAILED THEM TOO, IM AN AVENGING ICONOCLASTIC FIGURE.