Use Your Delusion

Unicorn Sightings Rampant In NY!!!

2006-12-19T03:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, that was in the news. However, if it was in New York its probably just some person living out some kind weird horse fetish. Because thats what goes down in NY, after sunset.... trust me, I have pictures. Anyways, its been a week since my last post so I decided to take this time to share more issues with you, or disturb you. I haven't really decided yet. The song is by Blink 182... Dammitt

Stock Trading | Video Hosting | Funny Videos | Secrets

The Adventures of Beyonce Knowles Weave!!!

2006-12-19T03:36:00.000-08:00

Things that are disgusting, dating Jay Z, check. Having your daddy kick out the 4th member of Destiny's Child because you want more money. Saying the reason you didn't get nominated for an academy award in "Dream Girls" is because you didn't want to gain 20 lbs..... yeah okay. Playing a sassy soul singer in an Austin Powers flick, and never readjusting your voice to take the 70s sound back out. Oh and more disgusting wearing a weave that makes you look stitched up like Frankenstein. I guess she could have got a better weave if she gained 20 lbs.

Fergacrappascious...The Worst of 2006

2006-12-19T03:22:00.000-08:00

I really don't know who told Fergie she could sing. I also don't know who told her she was hot, she kinda looks like an alien. But of course if your a 12 yr. old girl in braces, you probably think shes the greatest singer of all-time, and she will be touring for 20 years. You probably also think your closet is haunted, and leaving the light on will keep the ghosts out(or Dustin Diamond who played Screech on Saved by the Bell). First off, whats wrong with Fergie? Every single one of her songs she sings about how hot or fine she is. She really isn't she looks like an alien since she got all the plastic surgery before she joined the Black Eyed Peas. Remember her old group Wild Orchid? Look it up. The song Fergilicious is also a ripoff of the JJ FAD song "Supersonic", from 1989. Blah the arrangements, why does she have to make these laaa,,,, lallallaa ... la la la, with her mouth in every song? Its really dated, as she would say, "check it out". And that guy Will I. Am, I liked him better when his name was Wyclef Jean. Either way, these dudes will ruin alot of videos.

Boy Meets Wo.....nder Years...

2006-12-19T03:05:00.000-08:00

Yes the Savage Brothers, Ben and Fred. Fred was the emmy award winning Kevin Arnold from "The Wonder Years". He stayed in the lime light for 5 seasons and 2 bad movies, appearing in the late 90s in the show "Work" and thats about all for him. Ben is his less talented brother whose hair resembles pubic hair starred in "Boy Meets World", a quirky little comedy that really ruined itself by following the characters grow up go to school, and get married formula.

Its light hearted approach was later ruined in its final 2 seasons covering more serious topics. But throughout the ages, it has often been debated as to who was the luckier brother. While Fred was more critical acclaimed playing a stuck up prick on The Wonder Years didn't exactly broaden his character. However, he did get to date Winnie Cooper(Danica Mckellar)who was the worst Tv girlfriend of all time. Her character came off as kinda cold and thoughtless, ditching her friends for popularity, cheating on Kevin in the final episode. Ben got to date a chick with the dumbest name of all time Topanga. Though some what attractive, she came off as goofy and kind of weird. Its rumored today shes working at a Bloomingsdale, while Winnie is actually a math professor, and has a math thereom named after her.

http://www.filelodge.com/files/room22/584245/danica-mckellar-0605-003.jpg
www.filelodge.com/files/room22/584245/daniellefishel_003.jpg

Danielle(Topanga) actually dated Lance Bass and had no idea he was gay, talk about good actors. Kinda close to call on this one... not really

Your Brother Likes Hotdogs?

2006-12-12T01:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, yes its been about 4 months since my last post here, but yet I've had about 600 hits here the last 4 months so I guess, its time for an update. Lots of changes going on, this year... the year of the stingray,and fall of the K-Fed. Yo estoy los dios de sol. I hope you enjoy this hastly thrown together offering, and will probably be back sooner then 4 months. The theme, vanity.....

people who have never read this blog: paris hilton's nude roller blading donkey.
Koffi Annan, Star Jones, Lionel Richie, Andy Warhol. Anyone from My Chemical Romance who have a love for jelly donuts.

The song "Sour Times" by Portishead

The horror that is Lindsay Lohans Head

2006-12-12T00:48:00.000-08:00

I will never understand what people find so attractive about this chick. Her head is shaped like an apple, I mean look at it, it makes you want to just go and bake some pies. Its just to round with high cheeks bones, yet you people all went out to see "Herbie" which by far is the Shakespearen piece of her work. And not to mention this is how she smiles in every single picture. But she can do whatever she wants with all those Herbie DVDs you have hidden in your dressers. I just hope she never gets a job at Glamour Shots in the mall. And now she's hanging out with Paris Hilton, who looks kinda like a Collie. They should be called Delmonte and Lassie. Okay that was best impersonation of any, comedian on Late Night At The Apollo.

The Delusional Years: The Girlfriends Fat Friend

2006-12-12T00:05:00.000-08:00

Before it could get ugly I must state fat is an adjective, not a slur. Its a description of being how should you say more then overweight. And the description is only used in the context to help develop a psychological aura for the description of the character.

Once upon a time in the land of 10 yrs. ago, I was a college student working in a convience store. One of my co-workers was a rather obese chick, about 5-5, 280 lbs. But this didn't make her ugly, her disposition did. I ended up being the token guy at work she liked, which developed into her having a crush on me, being the only positive male in her life. However, she recruited one of her friends to try to get me to open up to find out if I had feelings for her, the large chick Mary. Her friend was very cute and in a couple of weeks, she developed a crush on me, and we started dating. The round chick Mary was okay with this. However, this is when

MARY GOT DELUSIONAL!!!!!!!

Slowly but surely to cover up her failed oppertunity at love with me Mary started telling stories. These were no ordinary stories, but stories of her past relationships. You see due to Mary's size and disposition, which was very cold and cruel she never had a boyfriend so she created boyfriends. Her friend told me in highschool Mary use to claim her boyfriend was over, so the friend would try to sneak over, and low and behold no one was ever there. Mary didn't even have any pictures of her boyfriend. When she felt uncomfortable about me and her best friends love life she told fascinating tales of her imaginary love life. Mary told us her first time, was with her boyfriend in the woods on the back of a 4 wheeler. We really tried not to laugh. There is no way physics and gravity could make that possibly for anyone let alone, someone her size. But this was her claim to fame. For fantasy it was really pumping on a dry well. That setting is the kind that would get Danielle Steel or any romance novel writer fired. But this is all she could come up with in her mind. So she gets the delusional award of 25lbs of sausage, and a gallon of macaroni. I never really saw Mary again, after 1997, she seemed to spend time trying to break me and her friend up(out of jealously and under the belief I started a rumor about her criminal record at our job after I quit), and ultimately would help her friend cheat on me, and 2 other boyfriends down the road. Which goes to oppose the t-shirt about fat people being able to lose weight, but ugly people will always be ugly. She was messed up either way.

Mother, Should I build a Wall...

2006-07-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, yes its been 2mos. and 2 days, but los dio de sol has returned. Apparentily this blog is still alive as I keep getting messages. So here's what will be the first of a regular weekly update or 2. Its funny I know they say 90 percent of all blogs die after 2 weeks... but I lasted a month... then came college, and yes its online but Im obessed with knitting scary sock monkeys. This blogs theme, ended up being innocense. It's funny I never post these theme wise, but I always find one when I look into it. It's better then saying... hmmmm.... the theme is an anal virus... seeeee why would you read that. Thats why they have myspace.

listening to...pink floyd- mother.

The Forgotten: Charlotte Braun

2006-07-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, Charles Schultz penned Snoopy, Charlie Brown and The Peanuts for 50 years, and actually died the day after the last cartoon was printed. Creepy thought there yet, kinda sweet. He often snook in many concept characters for its time. A Billie Jean King clone, the first black cartoon character, and a Kite Eating Tree. However hidden in the annals of strip history is Charlotte Braun. Charlotte only appeared in 10 strips, because of a negative public response. She was similiar in appearance to Charlie Brown, but really rude and annoying. So she was shelved in 1955 never to be seen again. Some say she had a meth problem,some speak of rumors of her Linus and the blanket, some say she became obessessed with creating a rocking chair that makes pies, still others say when she grew up she did a spread in "Swank" magazine. I say she was make believe and its all just rumors. Ahhhhh innocense.

Lance Bass is what!!!!!!! No Noooooo!!!!!

2006-07-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

Came a time when a man could wear make up, and dance around in leather pants and not be gay. Came a time when a grown man could have a fan base of children and not be gay. But noooooo, not you Lance Bass. Yes, Lance Bass admitted to being gay, saying he kept it secret all these years because he didn't want the band to become about him being Gay. Good for you Lance. No one is thrilled with how Ellen overshadowed her show with her issues. However, you did throw the world of make up clad leather pant wearing pretty boys back 100 yrs. What gave it away to me, was when he wanted to be a cosmonaut. Everyone knows they are all gay.

Stupid, Childhood Memories: Kool-Aid Man

2006-07-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

OH YEAH..... The catch phrase that set off a revolution. Though to this day its still debatable whether he could take the Hawaian Punch mascot "Punchy" In a fight,(what the hell was that on punchy's head) Kool-Aid man still prevails in mainstream culture. I remember as a kid saving all the Kool-Aid points on the back of the package so I could send off for the Kool-Aid watch with the digital moving hands. Legend has it, Kurt Cobain use to dye his hair with Kool-Aid, and he did so on the SNL performance. The pop singer Pink admits to having used Kool-Aid as a hair dye. Personally I would want to dye mine with grape. I never did wear that watch to school, that would have just been dorky.

Check this clip out.... ohh good times...

Go Your Own Way....

2006-05-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been away, been busy. So here it is the special 2 week edition. To my latino fans Yo estoy el dios de sol!!!! Hope you enjoy this offering... The theme something sweet and something bitter... or Bite ear. Hahhahahahahaahahaha enjoy.

Chocolate Makes You Smarter, I thought it was those funny cigerettes?

2006-05-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yep, they've done studies and chocolate does boost brain power.

"Chocolate contains many substances that act as stimulants, such as theobromine, phenethylamine, and caffeine," Dr. Bryan Raudenbush from Wheeling Jesuit University in West Virginia noted in comments to Reuters Health.

Which doesn't explain why the Willy Wonka character in the movies seemed like a sexual deviant. Or does it? This contradicts the theory by University Of Phoenix scientist that Chocolate makes your testicles fall off. I might be wrong on that source.

Mike Tyson is your Shakespeare....

2006-05-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, glorious Mike Tyson, You and your words of wisdom. Though I could never beat you in your video game, Im sure you tremble that we never met. Because if we did I would have made you a cheese sandwich, you would have said it was "Estatic", in honor of your literary achievements,(not including the time you read The Cat In The Hat") here is a tribute to your classic quotes:

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

"I like the British bikes. I like British people. They're real mellow."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

Oh mike you cad, you make wrestling promos seem intelligent.

The Fox And The Hound 2, "A Stupid New Beginning"

2006-05-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time Disney did a cartoon based on a classic novel dealing with racism and segration, no its not "Rockadoodle" either. The flick "The Fox And The Hound" featured these moral overtones. However, now the Disney money machine is cashing in on it with a tastless sequel. In this adventure Copper and Todd's friendship is once again divided by.... get this..."Country Music", thats right Copper the hound joins a "Dog Country Music Band". Yeeahhhhaaaaa cha-ching!!!!!! This is a travesty, this would be like if they made a sequel to "The Passion", and had the dilemma being Its double coupon day at the Piggly Wiggly and Judas stole Jesus spam coupon. Thanks, Disney..... Watch for yourselves!!!!

Sick Of Myself

2006-05-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

Blah, Well, welcome heres my blog I post about 2 times a week. Nothing extremely unusual or fascinating about it. But I AM the SUN GOD, to my friends in the latin world and here is an offering from me... even though I have no Idea what your saying.

Weird Random Video:Grim Reaper

2006-05-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

I thought this was funny. Its from some practical joke show. The Grim Reaper always gets big laughs. Check It Out.

Your punishment is to share a prison cell with the hamburgler.

2006-05-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

What is the deal with the Hamburgler? Why did Mc Donalds need this menance? Is stealing hamburgers such a big deal? I mean weirder things have happened liked hot 23 yr. old teachers dating their 13yr. old students. But what did the hamburgler go to jail for? I mean if im thinking advertising for a fast food restaurant, Im not thinking "yeah, we could have this guy dressed in prison garb who steals hamburgers. Yeah, thats a problem allright, its called schziophrenia. Or sometimes Its just called internet date night.

L'eggo my... never mind just take it.

2006-05-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

God, Eggo Waffles. I will never understand the fascination with these things. Eggo waffles were invented in 1936, yes they will out live the roaches. Today they own a 65 percent share of the frozen waffle market. I think these things are just nasty, they taste like styrofoam. But thats not really fair to styrofoam, or Micheal Jackson. Anyways here are a few seldom known facts about Eggo:

1. Eggo waffles are made out of dead parrots.
2. If you stick an eggo inside your dvd player you will be able to watch the
first 3 season of Mr. Belvedere except the one were Wesley gets molested.
3. If you let an Eggo go if it comes back its your to keep, if not it was never
meant to be.
4. Once the Black Eyed Peas were suppose to have an Eggo Waffle as its opening act
but reconsidered because they didn't want to be upstaged.
5. Terri Hatcher once dated an Eggo waffle, then when it broke up with her she went
on Oprah and talked about her heartache.

yeah, these are stupid but I don't care.

Daddy Never Sleeps At Nite...

2006-05-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone... er Buenos Dias to my Mayan friends who think of me as the sun god.
This is my blog, about a bunch of useless tasteless news that doesn't concern anyones world except the people whose world this is. Unless your the mole people. I try to update 2-3 times a week but didn't happen this past week. You see I started going to school online to finish up my education. That and you guys don't pay me to do this. But feel free to make donations to .... hahahahah right.
The theme,,, is poison, the band, your mind, and stuff to kill ants. Hope you enjoy this offering.

Every Rose has its GUN!!!!!!

2006-05-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Taken from Blabbermouth and Inside Edition:

POISON singer Bret Michaels told "Inside Edition" he's talking publicly about the two shooting incidents he's experienced recently because he's asking for help in stopping whoever has been shooting at him. "It's a pretty scary feeling to be randomly shot at no matter what it is," Michaels explained. "I'm not a real fearful person. I'm actually a pretty independent person and I'm not a big posse guy. I like to go live my life and do my thing but I'm taking this very seriously, I mean, everyone's taking it seriously. What you pray is that it's a random act of violence; you hope that it's just a couple of kids with a bb gun or a pellet gun."

Back in November in Massachusetts, someone fired a weapon at Michaels that shattered a window on his tour bus, and a similar thing happened two weeks ago, when a window in his car was shot out while he was driving in Los Angeles.

So basically someone is trying to kill or harm Brett Micheals, who sang "Every Rose has its Thorn" "Nothing But A Good Time" and "Unskinny Bop".

I'm betting it was someones boyfriend who Micheals was "Having Nothing But A Good Time" with the guys girlfriend. But maybe the answer is in the lyrics of his songs. In the song "Love On The Rocks" it quotes "love on the rocks, she's my shot.." their you go its a weird zodiac 80s singer killer. Next this guy will probably go for Quiet Riot because he could "C'mon Feel The Noize" in his head. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ,,,, IM SO CLEVER.

Fear Factor.. another reason to hate Americans

2006-05-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm American and the sadness of reality tv shows really amaze me. And this turd of a show has been on for a few years now. Fear Factor is a show that puts people in phsyical, mind blowing, and sometimes life threatening challenges. Swimming with alligators, jumping through fire with cars, having a blonde chick in a southern town date a foriegn guy.... just crazy dangerous stuff. But then there is the stupid stuff. Like host Joe Rogan, Joe was originally on the classic show "News Radio" and did a horrible stint on "The Man Show", however Joe doesn't come across as a pathetic fantasy dwelling loser so the "The Man Show" was cancelled. Joe puts them through the weird challenges to decide if "fear is a factor", gag..... The weird stuff like eating a sausage made out of worms. To me this has nothing to do with fear. Its funny at night I never look in my closet to see if a sausage made out of worms is in there, trying to get me. Or the season finale a few years back was to drink a rat smoothie. Once again, when the phone rings late at night and someone breathes in it and just hangs up, I don't say, "Oh my god... I hope its not a rat smoothie stalking me." yeah. This has nothing to do with fear just stupidity.

Weird Random Video Clip: Giant Pet Ants....

2006-05-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

As a child I often fantasized about what it would be like to have a giant pet ant. How it would be to lay in a field of dandelions while my giant pet ant would gentily rest his head on my lap while I read the poems of Emily Dickinson. Then me and my giant pet ant would build a fort in my backyard out of old boxes and blankets. Except Anty...(thats what I would call him or maybe even Sean) would then burrow a tunnel 20 ft. underground where he would then take a queen to protect and mate with. And that queen would probably be Jessica Simpson because she seems to get around alot lately. OH ANTY...errr Sean your too much. Watch this clip.

Don't Tell My Blog, My Achy, Breaky...

2006-04-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

Hello again, welcome to my blog, my little piece of stupidity that I update 2-3 times a week. A place where people who don't don't speak english leave comments in my forums declaring me a god i'm sure. This weeks theme is matters of the heart,,,,,, or it could be beastiality, however you look at it. I hope you enjoy.

Nothing Better is going on in Itay.....

2006-04-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Yep in Italy, the government issues everyone a sports car, designer clothing, and a model boyfriend or girlfriend. But not all is so sunny in Italy, lobsters are being abused ridiculed by being put alive on displays of ice. When asked for comment the lobsters replied"grrrrrcrrrkkkllplllgrrrr". Yes this is the news that is making headlines out of Italy this week. A country whose fore fathers, Chef Boyardee and Super Mario, must be turning in their graves right now. The story is looking to make its way to the Lifetime channel starring Growing Pains star, JoAnna Kearns as the activist, and Lindsay Lohan as the lobster, as soon as she can hone her acting skills better and limit the word "dude" from her vocabulary.

He-man and the Masters of the .....Loin Clothes?

2006-04-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, if you were a a young man in the early 80s then 2 truths held constant, you liked to ride your big wheel and do fish hooks off the end off your driveway out into oncoming traffic, and second, you worshiped He-Man. The He-Man drama started with Mattel Toys plans to create a Conan toyline, because the Conan Clothingline wasn't working out too well, loin clothes and furry boots were about 2 yrs from making it big onto the L.A. glam metal scene. So, nonetheless He-Man was born. He-Man was a cartoon about a bunch of buffed guys who all had the words man in their name.(Just like in "Sex and the City") The hero He-Man was actually Prince Adam who had a magic sword that let him turned into his secret identity He-Man. Even though he and Adam looked exactly alike even though He-Man was just shirtless no one knew of his identity. I tried the same scam when I tried to illegally buy beer my freshman year in college and I was already ID 1 min. earlier as 18, so the no shirt hides my identity did nothing for me. Neither did my Wilson Phillips tattoo. Anyways, He-Man and friends fought against the evil forces of Skeeletor, who I think later toured with Danzig. There was also Teela, He-Mans female, warrior friend. The only purpose of a young man getting a Teela doll was to try to impress the young ladies with his diversity, or to stick it with the dorky neighbor kid down the street when he came over to play with your He-Man. Then later after you guys bonded you would get Teela and He-Man to get it on. Every episode of He-Man ended with a heart warming moral such as "Love is the most powerful force in the universe." and the lesser known, "Love comes and goes while Herpes last forver." Awww yes He-Man, was later portrayed by Dolphin Lundgren,,aka the Russian from Rocky. And years after that was revived on 2 different occassion but never took off. Any guy 28-32 had a special place in his Heart for He-Man 25 yrs ago. No matter how much he lies about it. Well except maybe Puertoricans,....just kidding.

Bizzare Random Video Clip.

2006-04-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is interesting its a heart warming newsclip story of the friendship between a 45 yr. old orangatan and 1 yr. old tabby cat. The cat legitamately walks the apes cage at its own free will. Then someone decides to edit this story. You have to love photoshop anyways check this out.

I Don't Want to Grow Up....

2006-04-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

Yep, this postings theme is clinging to your childhood whims. Which is cool, unless your whim was to grow up to be a pop superstar who dates little boys. Then its just wrong. This concludes my first week of being a bad bloggin mutha. Thanks for coming back. It still hasn't gotten weird enough for me. And it won't get that way for you.

The Ghost of You and Me, Well, not really either of us.

2006-04-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

As a kid, there was 2 thing I always wanted to see a 1. A giant flying hotdog, 2. A ghost. Only having seen the hotdog, I always wanted to see a ghost... and now here is actually footage, and audio, look really, close in the upper corner of the screen, and when you start to hear some static interference you will know when to look in the upper corner. So you might want to crank up your volumes ome. Well here it is I hope you enjoy. And remember you can sleep with your lights on, but I will come through your windows anyways, especially if your Asian and 19.

Bill Gates Quijaa Board: Monopoly

2006-04-24T18:35:00.001-07:00

Yes, Monopoly, the game that taught me how to go bankrupt, when I would grow up. Apparentily, it is getting to new life via an update. The update is slated to contain Rodeo Drive, Wrigley Field, and The Golden Gate Bridge among others. However, still strangely missing from the game are, Dave's Animal Massage Parlour, The 24hr tattoo and donut shop, and the Methodone Clinic. So basically Courtney Love will still have to play nude Twister, with part time model/bartenders to get an accurate depiction of the economic structure. Because god knows bartenders are the coolest people on the planet. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA, especially the ones that hit on the women who go drinking on their own..... Yeah, those dudes are the most sincere catches. I think they should change the get out of jail free card, to Kobe Bryant has an expensive lawyer get out of jail free even though I'm guilty card.

Really Bad Pun Headline, Sea Monkey See, See Monkey Do...

2006-04-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

Man, who didn't have Sea Monkeys growing up? Better question... who didn't kill their Sea Monkeys? I remember buying my Sea Monkey in 1986 from the local K-mart. After a weeks the freeze dried eggs came alive, and slowly over the next 2 weeks they sprout into maturity, missing out on asking to borrow my car, and growing bad teenage Sea Monkey facial stubble. You ask where Sea Monkeys come from? Some say they came from a rift in the ocean opened by our true lord Poisedon, others say they were brought to us by the reverse vampires and the Rann Corportation. Those people would be wrong. Believe it or not Sea Monkeys were created by a German In the mid 1950s. Yes, the same nationality that was intent on European domination spawned this cutesy phenomenon. If your going for forgiveness guys, good luck with that. This is how they got there revenge on us, by giving the children of the people who crushed their empire, pets that were guaranteed to cause heartbreak. You see, Sea Monkeys LIKE TO GET IN ON...AND ON.... AND ON. They can't seem to keep it in their pants. Within 3mos. my Sea Monkeys(aka brine shrimp) where literally 100s in a small 7 inch by 1 inch tank. And man could those dudes crap. They were good at crapping and SEA MONKEYS WERE BI-SEXUAL....They could reproduce sexually and asexaully.(Which made masterbation incredibly confusing) And yes they always wore tank tops and had profiles on myspace.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, GOD IM CLEVER. Long story short, my tank got dirty, tried to clean it and repurify it, which ended up killing my Sea Monkeys. I was there god and I failed them. BUT THEN I GOT TRANSFORMERS!!!! AND I FAILED THEM TOO, IM AN AVENGING ICONOCLASTIC FIGURE.

Don't Blame..........

2006-04-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

Let's see the usual suspects a president,sausage, and a pervert. Sounds like Bill Clinton, nope, its the closet theme I can come up with for this update. The addition to the gallery is based off of power, lust, and corruption. For yet another unnintentional theme. Blahhh Blaahhh at least I have a blog people come to. Yeah, thats what I thought.

And Now Appearing at the Lava Lounge Volcanoe Room...

2006-04-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Yes siree... the first 42 U.S. President borrowed a total of 1.05 trillion dollars the first 220 some years of this country. Apparentily Mr. Bush has borrowed that much since 2000. But to make up for this difference he has become a street performer as shown by this picture. Mr. President does take request, any request at all, as long as its Lynrd Skynrd, any Lynrd song at all, as long as its not "Freebird" because the solo is much to hard. Silly Mr. President.

Totally Random Video Clip....Sausage!?

2006-04-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Its one thing, when someone makes a stupid video and post it on the net, its another thing when people try to copy it, and get less sincere results. This one is the original. The sausage video.....this is one of those things that aren't funny the first time you watch it, but it makes you think. Much like the ending of Silent Hill you discover the Mom, Daughter, and Cop died in a car accident in the beginning, and the anticlimactic ending is, they can never go home. Well this video is about a bunch of girls who like to say "sausage" over and over again in an english accent. Just like in the Loverboy classic, "Girls who like to say Sausage over and over again....in love". And then go online to see how poorly this was ripped off.

Years from now on Thanksgiving this will be shown instead of "The Wizard of Oz"

HEROE OF THE WEEK

2006-04-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

Earlier in the week a 76 yr. old man was arrested in Florida for going door to door impersonating a doctor. The man was offering free breast exams. He is being charge on 2 accounts of assault. Well, buddy if that doesn't work for Kobe Bryant and his free rectal exams it probably wouldn't for you. Maybe the guy took one of those internet breast examiner courses from Devry. Or maybe he got confused and thought he was adjusting industrial thermostats. Whose to say, oh yes the police. You sir for your nobility in offering a free health service are the UYD heroe of the week.

Get down with the sickness......

2006-04-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

Thats just a term for letting other things ruin your life and corrupt you. To some people it can be the opposite sex, or that same sex kinky friend, it can be fame or money. Its when something leads you to believe its worth the risk to become something you should have never been. Assimilate to it, and then make excuses for your social darwinism. Which is basically the theme to this update. Though if your reading my blog then your probably not big on symbolism. So just go grab a bag of chips and watch "The Family Guy". I'm watching you....peace, love,........empathy.

Take it away Wheatus........

Forget about those Illegal Aliens taking your jobs, worry about this...

2006-04-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

I know its written somewhere in Revelations about "Be weary of the madagascar hissing cockroach, for he will pave the streets with blood strewn across by his mighty chariot." NO WAIT.... THATS THE BOOK OF MORMON....... HHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! None the less this is a sign of the apocalypse. Apparenitly some engineer wannabes, fashioned a mobile device that allows a cockroach to drive somewhat of a remote control stroller type device. The device is built around a track ball the roach crawls on, centering his gravity so he's more or less like on a hamster wheel. The funny thing about this clip is the roach seems to be trying to getting away from his captors with this new technology he has found. Still a waste of technology. Trust me... we are just a step away from roach dui's. But yet a tear comes to my eye thinking a youngmans childhood fantasy of transportation for cockroaches, is now reality. Now if I could just make that wooden indian come to life.

Stupid Pun Headline:NO DOUBT, she's pregnant

2006-04-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!!! IM SO CLEVER WITH MY PUNS....clever like all those guys who still tell other peoples girlfriends that they have pretty eyes. Anyways, Gwen Stefani is pregnant. Her and her husband Gavin Rossdale lead singer of Bush, are expecting a little girl. It must be hell being a washed up rock star(he is) being married to multi-platinum Gwen. There arguments would be like Gavin: "I don't need your money!!!! I have my own." Gwen:"Yeah right those 7 million copies of 16 stone you sold 10 yrs. ago have you set for life.(insane laugher)" Gavin:"That's it im taking my jet and going home." Gwen:"Good and while your on that jet suck this in
were not naming the kid Glycerine." Ahhh Yes, good times...

Random Pointless Video Clip....

2006-04-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

Yeah, If there are 2 things in life I don't understand they would be blue collar comedy, and any connection the Wayans brothers circle, have to bathroom humor. Now excuse me for being a worldly community college graduate, but this repetive formula proves once again if you do movies with the same gene pool to many times, you get tacky movie inbreeding. And here is a wonderful clip from a movie that I'm sure will be bigger then Titanic. And after this I imagine a day of constipation for the writers off this flick is like a day of mourning. Yeah, Im a jerk so what.

A New Hope.................

2006-04-16T02:43:00.000-07:00

Easter, yes today is the day to unveil my abomination upon the civilized networld. Well, you know what I mean, not the other thing I promised I would only do that for money. Im referring to my blog, which is just a means to express my views and humor with people I really can't stay in touch with. These being new or old but here is my ode to a Cliff's note version of what goes on in the world that is my head. I orignally considered other sites for this venture, but being I'm not a 23yr. old goth vampire who likes to be hit on by 43yr. old women who shop at "The Hot Topic" I settled for this great community. That and from here I can safely criticize poseurs. Or maybe not.... Peace, Love, Empathy............Enjoy.

Random Pointless Video Time....

2006-04-16T02:18:00.000-07:00

Few people know that this is what MC Hammer was originally going to say instead of "Hammer Time" but here it is my random pointless video clip. Fact or Fiction, I do not know but do not try this at home, unless your home is giant moon walk untop of a magical waterfall, and you live next to gumdrop lane where everyone is always happy. Except for old angry Mr. Johnson, who won't get off your back about your dog always running in his yard. But you live in a Moon Walk so you don't care.

I probably could have done that, but not since I stopped drinking. Well I'm pretty sure I could atleast grab a dog by the hind legs and pretend like its a wheel barrow. Cos I was gonna do that anyways.

If its News to You, Its News to Me...

2006-04-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

Recentily 2 siblings who are the products of a sperm donor were reunited. The girls, Danielle Pagano, 16, and JoEllen Marsh, 15, connected through the Donor Sibling Registry, a Web site that is helping to open a new chapter in the oldest form of assisted reproductive technology. The three-year-old site allows parents and offspring to enter their contact information and search for others by sperm bank and donor number. WOW..... I did not know I was supposed to get that stuff registered. I really hope this isn't like the time I forgot to register for selective service. I think thats great, that there is an international registry, because if sperm got in the wrong hands, all hades could just break loose. The humanity..... I wonder if they have one of those websites that have one of those "win a free ipod" pop-up. God knows, I would donate all the time. Well not really....all the time. Maybe more then usual since I quit smoking.

Missunderstood Pimps....Col. Sanders

2006-04-16T01:28:00.000-07:00

This is a section were I will examine missunderstood sex symbols from era's past. And the first member of the MP Class of 06 is Col. Sanders. Col. Harland Sanders was born in 1890. He made his mark in the fried chicken world at the tender and crispy age of 65.(Pun Warning) He later sold his shares of KFC for $2million in 1965 and decided to stay on as a spokesman for the company. But there was another side to "The Colonel", thats right the pimp side. As you can see in this recently exposed photo "The Col." was big with the ladies. He was always decked out in his white ice cream man tux, brim glasses, and the pimpest accessory of all the "cane". Always a player taunting all with his secret blend of herbs...(think about it) and spices. Oh Col., the secret life you lived. If we could all live vicariously through you. You and your "Original Recipe" for pimp'n.
RIP brother